The Staff Room

The Staff Room. The very words hold a magical ring. As a child, I can remember approaching The Staff Room door with the same tingling sense of excitement that one would have approaching the wardrobe to Narnia. Something about seeing teachers eating and talking with other adults made it seem like I had entered another dimension. (*Side note: If you have ever encountered a teacher outside of school, you will have experienced a similar feeling).

Not surprisingly, much of the magic of The Staff Room wears off upon reaching teacher-hood. The walls are made of the same 1980s pastel-painted bricks as the rest of the building. The fridge produces a dull hum that can quickly lull you into a semi-comatose state. The staff? Normal human beings. (WHAT!?)

However, there are a few things that go on behind the scenes that may surprise you:

1. There are almost always treats. There are a lot of staff at an elementary school, and that means a lot of birthdays. And what do birthdays mean? CAKE. COOKIES. FUDGE. And sometimes, if you are really lucky, they are even home-made.
2. In an attempt to make up for all the birthday sugar intake, on an ordinary day teachers are the healthiest group of eaters I have ever met. I mean, I usually feel pretty good pulling out my chicken quinoa leftovers, but only until I see the teacher next to me pull out a salad with no dressing. No dressing!? Are you crazy?!
3. Most staff rooms have at least one inspirational quote on the walls that are cringe-worthily cheesy. However, one staff room I have been in had a “Wall of Awesome” where teachers could post any awesome thing that happens in their life. (I.E. When your students get back from vacation and tell you they missed you. AWESOME). Now that is downright adorable.
4. Teachers refer to their students as “my kids” with no differentiation from talking about their biological children. They also talk about them with the same loving eye-rolls, frustrated sighs, and proud boasts which they would use to talk about their “real” kids.
5. There are cliques. Seriously. There are the newbies fresh to the scene, the lifers waiting on retirement, the go-getters who can't stop talking about lesson plans for more than 5 minutes. Sometimes it's like entering a high school cafeteria, particularly when the staff room is divided into 5 different tables to choose from. As a supply teacher, this is my cue to turn around, walk back to class, and eat lunch with the 7-year olds. One day is not enough time to break into an exclusive clique.

It was a sad day when the magic of The Staff Room was shattered for me, but I know from the look of amazement on the face of any student lucky enough to need to knock on the door for an ice pack or plastic spoon that the magic lives on.